How to talk to your parents about end of life planning

Thanksgiving is just around the corner, marking a time when families come together and it is a blend of both stress and joy. While the prospect of gathering with loved ones is delightful, the accompanying travel-related stressors can be daunting. Among the shared laughter and warm embraces, there lies an opportunity for meaningful conversations. End-of-life planning, though a topic often brushed aside, becomes increasingly crucial as we age. It entails tasks like completing an Advance Directive, establishing a Will, and discussing funeral arrangements.

Approaching your parents about life planning requires some sensitivity and empathy. Put yourself in their shoes; broaching the subject reminds them of their mortality. The natural inclination might be to evade the discussion, responding with dismissive remarks like, “We don't need to worry about that just yet.” A thoughtful reply could be, "I understand, but it's important  to be prepared. Have you considered setting up an Advance Directive just in case?" Their response may vary; they might agree, decline, or deflect to a different topic. If the conversation shifts, don't be discouraged. Talking to your parents about end-of-life planning often requires multiple discussions spread over months or even years.

Following the initial conversation, give them time to process before revisiting the topic. If you broached the subject during Thanksgiving, consider waiting until the New Year. This interval allows your parents the space to reflect. You can also use this time to work on your own end-of-life planning. Offer assistance in filling out your parent’s Advance Directive if they haven't already. If you're scheduling a meeting with a lawyer to establish your Will, propose doing the same for them. Taking the initiative in your own planning can help alleviate their anxieties.

While contemplating end-of-life matters may be uncomfortable, it is really important. Life's uncertainties can catch us off guard, making it essential to preemptively answer questions like, "What choices would Mom prefer in this scenario? Should she be kept on life support?" End-of-life planning provides a sense of peace and can help with the difficulties of an unexpected emergency or tragic day. This Thanksgiving, amidst the festivities, take a moment to start this crucial conversation with your parents. It might be an overwhelming task at first, but the peace of mind it provides is invaluable.

Written By Robin L. 
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